Tuesday, February 5, 2013

It's Like Christmas Morning!

Today I took delivery of the first of a few very, very, very large pairs of shoes I ordered on eBay.  Large, as in size 16- the largest I could order, and possibly the largest that are made without needing to special order?  This particular pair of cute black patent leather slingbacks was made by Ellie.

It's always been a fantasy of mine to wear a pair of heels without having to destroy my feet.  In the past, I was able to find a size 12 pair of Ralph Lauren high heeled sandals that I was barely able to squeeze onto my size 13/14 feet (and since there is a three size difference between men's and women's shoes, it was as if I was wearing a size 9.)  With those poor things, I had to cut a few of the leather straps, constantly soak them in hot water and hope I could get by for a few minutes without causing my feet permanent damage.  What would it be like to properly wear a pair of women's shoes?  How about a sexy pair of high heels?  In a way, it was disappointing not to be able to buy a pair of shoes that were already on their way to being trashed and abused, but seeing as how few, if any, women wear size 16s, was willing to make an exception and buy new.  Besides, if I were to find a used pair of size 16 shoes, I would probably be worried that they belonged to a drag queen.

As it turns out, the shoes are pretty comfortable.  The large, thick strap that holds the front of the foot in place is a little tight, especially as gravity causes all of my 300 pounds slide into them, but the smaller straps that go around the base of my ankle and the back of my heel are fine to the point where I don't even notice them.  For some reason squeezing my left foot through those straps is more difficult than it is with the right foot, requiring some moderate stretching of the thin, delicate-looking leather, giving me a newfound appreciation for women that wear this kind of shoe on a regular basis.  I was starting to get worried something would have to give, either the strap, where it connects to the shoe or the unsubstantial buckle.  And as much as I love the idea of destroyed women's shoes, I kinda don't want these to break.  At least not yet.

Now, what is to become of these shoes?  I have no idea.  I like the idea of having a few pairs of shoes that I can wear on a regular basis, but there's not much I can do with them aside from walking around the house when my wife's not home and wearing them as I enjoy the trashed and abused shoes in my collection.  It would be nice to be able to subject these to some challenging tasks, but my options would be limited to laps on the course concrete of the garage floor and maybe the back part of the driveway when it's dark and no one is looking.  Maybe general use will eventually inflict some damage.  I'm definitely not used to walking in heels and my feet tend to wobble.  Will that be enough to work loose one of the heels?  I suppose I'll have to try a few things, like holding onto something as I balance the weight of my body on the heels, no doubt putting an obscene amount of stress on those straps I was just worried about.

I'll keep you updated, on these as well as others that start arriving at my door in the coming days and weeks.

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